Fandom: 9-1-1
Warnings: Permanent injury to main character. Mentions of natural disaster. Beta read by Grammarly.
Word count: 5272
Relationship: Gen (no pairing)
Summary: Buck’s leg will never be the same again after being crushed by a firetruck. While struggling with his injury and losing his job as a firefighter, Buck throws himself into a project for Christopher. The project will take his life in a direction he never could have dreamed off.
Author’s note: Part of the Big Moxie 2022 challenge. This is my entry for quarter 1 – canon divergence.
I am aware that Buck’s journey to his new career might be a bit too easy compared to the real world. However, I think it fits with the normal TV procedural world where DNA evidence comes back in a day and huge injuries have no consequences other than a few weeks of healing time.
Also, a few hours after posting this, I did a tiny edit to fix a minor mistake. So if you read it again and think there’s something a little bit different in one sentence, you would be correct.
Buck cursed as his leg buckled beneath him, making him fall. He barely managed to control the fall enough to land back on the bed he’d just gotten up from. After taking a moment to breathe through the pain, he tried standing up for a second time, using his cane this time. He hated using it, but he needed to pee badly enough that he didn’t have a choice. He made it to the bathroom without any incident this time.
Just as he was contemplating if he’d take a shower as well now that he was in the bathroom, or if he’d skip it and go back to bed as he’d done the last two days, he heard his front door open.
“Buck, you here?”
“Eddie?”
A few quick footsteps up the stairs and his best friend appeared in the open bathroom door.
“Hey, you’re up already, good. Look, Christopher’s downstairs, settling in on the couch. I figured, once you’re ready and had breakfast, the two of you could do something fun. And don’t let him con you into feeding him breakfast again, he’s had some already.”
“Wait, what? I can’t watch him, Eddie!”
“Sure you can. You have before. And you’re healed enough. It’s time to quit moping and start living again. Let Chris cheer you up.”
“I am not moping.”
“When’s the last time you left your apartment? Or even took a shower?” Eddie sighed. “Look, I get it, okay. You’re in pain, and that’s not going to go away, ever. You lost your job because of it. It sucks, I get that. But there’s a boy downstairs who misses you. Spend some time with him, please?”
“Using your kid like that should be illegal,” Buck groused, but he already knew he’d give in the moment Eddie mentioned Christopher missing him.
Eddie, seeing he’d won, graciously retreated while he was ahead. He bounced back down the stairs, said goodbye to Chris, and shouted up to Buck that he would pick Christopher up after dinner before he was out the door. Buck was glad Chris wouldn’t spend the night yet, he still had nightmares about being stuck under the firetruck that woke him up screaming. Not every night, but he didn’t want to run the risk of Chris overhearing one of them.
“Chris, I have to take a shower first, you okay to watch tv until I’m done?” Buck shouted down.
“Yep!”
A quick shower and a slow descent down the stairs later, Buck had an excited Christopher in his arms.
“I missed you Bucky,” he said.
“I missed you too, buddy.”
“Can we have pancakes?”
“I thought you had breakfast already,” Buck said with a grin.
“Yeah…but that doesn’t mean I can’t have some pancakes for second breakfast.”
Buck laughed. “I see you’ve watched the Lord of the Rings movies again.”
And then, just because it went exactly against what Eddie had said, he agreed to make pancakes for both of them.
*****
Buck had managed to divert Christopher’s attention away from his wish to go to the pier without too much trouble by citing Eddie would be sad to be left out of such an adventure. In truth, Buck wasn’t too sure about his own ability to walk the distances required on the pier and was loathe to try it with Chris by his side. Not only did he not want the boy to see him in pain, but he also didn’t want to get stuck on the pier either because he couldn’t make it a step further or because Chris couldn’t. Before his injury, Buck would just plan to carry Chris if need be, but those days were over.
Instead, the two had spent the morning at the mall, having fun at the arcade. Buck managed to get several breaks where he could sit down while Chris played a game and was, for once, diligent in using his cane. He hated to admit it, but his doctor, physical therapist, sister and Eddie had been right that using the cane helped a lot.
“So, what do you want to do after lunch?” Buck asked, while studiously ignoring Christopher stealing one of his fries.
“Can we go to the bookstore?”
“Sure.”
Buck knew he’d get conned into buying Chris a new book, but he didn’t mind. Once they were done with lunch, they made their way over to the bookstore. From the twinges in his leg, Buck knew it’d be the last stop before they’d have to make their way home.
Inside the store, Buck left Christ to browse by himself. He positioned himself in such a way he could still keep an eye on the boy without giving him the idea he was being watched over. He aimlessly leafed through a book without really taking in what it was about, as Chris looked through the children’s section with a distinct bounce to his step. Buck smiled, loving the way Chris was so into books. Both Eddie and he were all too willing to indulge the boy in his love for books, and with the rate Chris went through books, it was a good thing for their wallets that he also had a library card.
Buck’s phone buzzed with an incoming text message. He grabbed his phone and saw it was from Eddie. With a smile he opened it, expecting it to be a message to check in with him. Instead, it had two terse sentences. Working the tsunami, don’t know when we’ll be off shift. Can you keep Christopher longer? Buck automatically texted back an agreement, before he went and looked online for news on a tsunami. It didn’t take long, as it was making headlines. A feeling of dread swept over him as he read about the tsunami that had hit LA without any warning. He clicked on one of the articles.
He dropped his phone as he had to grab the shelf next to him quickly as a wave of panic washed over him halfway through the first paragraph. The place where the tsunami had hit land was the pier Chris had wanted to go to. Buck’s other hand clenched around his cane, as he kept his left grasping the shelf. That could have been us, was all that was going through his head. He knew how little chance there’d be for him – even when he was completely healthy and at the top of his fitness level – to survive a tsunami. Let alone Christopher and him, with a bum leg. Yet his leg was also the reason they hadn’t been on that pier. It was the first time ever he was grateful to be injured.
He took a few deep breaths and pulled himself together. He grabbed his phone from the floor and had to use the shelves to pull himself up this time. Pain shot through his leg, but he was used to ignoring it until it died down a bit. His gaze sought out Christopher, who was still browsing through the books. He needed to tell him his father wouldn’t be back before dinner. In fact, Eddie might not even make it back before breakfast. It would mean explaining at least a little bit about the tsunami, and Buck wasn’t sure how Chris would react to that. He decided that since the bookstore was their last stop anyway, he’d wait until they were back at his apartment before telling Christopher.
Buck tried to go back to his browsing but found himself watching Christopher more closely than usual. He noticed that while Christopher looked through the books, nothing seemed to really grab him. Or at least, he didn’t have his normal small stack of maybe-books, which he’d then go through again to pick the one he’d want to take home with him. The bounce he’d started out with had slowly disappeared as well.
Buck made his way over to where Christopher was now looking through the young adult novels.
“Hey buddy, nothing catching your eyes?”
“No.”
“I’m sure there’s at least one interesting book here in the store,” Buck said.
Christopher let out a dejected sigh. “Yeah, but not what I’m looking for.”
“Well, what are you looking for? Maybe we can find it together.”
“I want a book with someone like me in it. There’s a couple of books with kids in a wheelchair, but nothing with someone like me.”
The earnest wish, coupled with Chris looking at Buck like he could magic up such a book out of nowhere, tore at Buck’s heart.
“That’s a fairly specific type of book. I think we’d be better off looking online for something like that. Why don’t you pick out something else in the meantime, and I’ll take a look online once we’re back home.”
With the assurance that Buck would help, Chris perked up and soon had a book picked out. It was another non-fiction book about space, which looked to be an obsession that was here to stay for a while, unlike ancient Egypt, polar bears and medieval knights. Those had all been the main source of interest for a few weeks at most, while space had been Christopher’s go-to topic for months now.
Back in Buck’s apartment, he sat down next to Christopher on the couch.
“Hey, buddy, your dad texted me earlier. He’s going to be caught up at work until really late, so what do you say about having a slumber party here?”
Chris looked at Buck, weighing his words.
“Did dad get hurt?” he asked.
“No, he didn’t,” Buck immediately reassured him. “There was a tsunami, which is a really, really big wave, and it means a lot of people need help. So, your dad and the rest of the 118 are out there, helping as many people as they can. But there are so many people that need help that your dad won’t be done until way after your bedtime.”
“Oh, that’s all right then,” Chris said. “Dad needs to be out there helping people.”
“Yeah, he’s good at that.”
“Does that mean we can eat pizza for dinner?” Chris asked.
Buck laughed. “Nice try, buddy. But you already got a second breakfast of pancakes. We’ll go with the lasagna I’ve got in the freezer.”
Chris pouted a little bit, but he soon forgot it as Buck diverted him to his new book. While Chris dived into his book about Mars, Buck grabbed his laptop to look for the type of book Chris wanted. He found a few, though most of them were for a younger audience than Chris. Still, he saved all the results, and when even his Google skills, honed by years of research spirals, couldn’t find any new books, he showed his results to Christopher. Chris leaned into Buck’s side and gave a deep sigh when he saw the results.
“All right, I know it’s not all great,” Buck said, “but it’s not all bad either. Sure, these three are for kids way younger than you. But these two are pretty good.”
“Yeah, but they’re about a kid with CP.”
“Now you’re confusing me, I thought that’s what you were looking for?”
Christopher shook his head. “No, I want a regular book, just with someone with CP in it. Not a book that’s about the CP. These books are all about learning to live with the limits of CP. My grandparents even read me that one.” Chris pointed at one of the picture books Buck had found. “But I know what it’s like to live with CP. I just…sometimes want to see someone like me in a book or a movie.”
Buck sighed and hugged Chris. “I get it, superman. I’m sorry I couldn’t find something like that for you.”
“Not your fault,” Chris said.
It still felt like a failure to Buck.
*****
Eddie used his key to come in at four in the morning. He was being quiet, but Buck was still up. Buck was sitting in a small circle of light made by a lamp he had moved from the side table to the kitchen table.
“Jesus, Buck, you didn’t have to give him your bed. He’d have been fine on the couch for an evening. Besides, don’t you have an air mattress?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” Buck said.
“Too much pain?” Eddie asked, looking concerned.
Buck shook his head. “No, I…Eddie, he wanted to go to the pier today. I told him we had to wait for you to come with us. If I hadn’t…we could have been on that pier today.”
Eddie’s face paled. A feat, considering how pale and drawn the man had already looked.
“Buck…”
“I know,” he sighed. “I mean, it didn’t happen, obviously, but just the thought of it…” He shook his head in a vain attempt to get rid of the thought. “How are you doing? It can’t have been easy out there.”
Eddie shrugged. “I just did my job.”
“I’m not buying what you’re selling, man,” Buck said. “I know what the job can be like after a big disaster.”
Eddie slumped against the counter. Buck went to stand next to him and bumped his shoulder against Eddie’s.
“It was horrible,” Eddie whispered. “I saw more bodies than live victims, and I know that many more people washed out to sea when the wave retreated. I just…felt so helpless. And lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m drowning, in everything. I just…don’t know anymore.”
Buck suspected the only reason he was getting so much out of Eddie right now was that he was so tired. Tomorrow morning, when the sun came up, Eddie would have retreated back inside the walls he’d put up after Shannon died. Buck had been trying to be there for Eddie, but his own injury not long after that made it impossible to focus on anything other than his own recovery. And maybe, if Buck was honest, he’d retreated behind his own walls instead of facing the fear that had become a reality – never being able to return to the 118.
“I, uh, I get what you mean about feeling like you’re drowning. Every day, there’s pain – and I know my stubbornness about using the cane and not resting enough is making it worse. My recovery is at a standstill, has been for a while. I just didn’t want to face it.”
“We make a sorry couple, don’t we?” Eddie asked.
“I’m going to start therapy,” Buck blurted out, as the idea came to him. “I mean, there’s been so much going on, one thing after another. I can’t find my way out alone and let’s be honest, you can’t keep throwing Christopher at me to get me out of bed.”
“Well, I could, but I agree that therapy might be a better solution in the long term,” Eddie said.
“Maybe you should consider it too.”
Eddie scrunched up his nose. “Therapy isn’t for me.”
“Have you ever tried?”
“They send someone to talk to me after I got injured in the army, but that guy was a dick.”
Buck snorted. “Well, you can’t dismiss therapy just because of one guy. I mean, my first foray didn’t go so well either, but I’m willing to take another shot at it. Unless, of course, you’re too chicken to try therapy for real?”
“I see what you’re doing there,” Eddie said.
“Is it working?”
With a sigh, Eddie capitulated. “Fine, but only if you go through with it as well.”
“I will,” Buck said softly. “I need to figure out my life.”
“Yeah, so do I.”
*****
For the first time in a few weeks, Buck felt productive. With Eddie taking some extra shifts due to the tsunami, he’d looked after Christopher a few more times. Both Eddie and he had looked for a therapist. Buck had gone with Dr. Copeland, who he’d met with once already, while Eddie had found a former army member who was now working as a therapist to go to. Buck knew he’d have to find a job soon, but he wasn’t quite ready for that yet. What he had done, was started to write a story for Christopher about a kid with CP, which wasn’t about the CP. It was supposed to be a fun, little story, but it was quickly turning into a huge project. Buck had decided that if he was going to do this, he was going to do it well, which is what brought him to Karen’s door.
Buck and Karen were sitting at the kitchen table, Buck’s laptop in between them, when Hen returned from her grocery run. Buck knew that if she was off-shift on a Friday, she did the grocery shopping for that weekend after lunch. He had deliberately chosen to stop by when she would be out.
“Buck, how are you?” she asked, pulling him into a hug.
“I’m doing okay,” he said. “Working on a project I needed Karen’s help with.”
Buck could see the curiosity on Hen’s face, but he just shrugged with a smile. He wasn’t quite ready to share what he was planning. While he trusted Karen to keep his secret for now, even from Hen, he knew that if Hen knew, there was a good chance Chimney would know too. Once Chimney knew, everyone knew. Then, if this story didn’t work out, if he couldn’t get it on paper the way he wanted to, it would feel like he’d be letting everyone down.
“Oh, come on, don’t leave me in suspense.”
“Don’t be getting nosy now,” Karen admonished, as she closed the laptop. “You’ll find out eventually.”
Hen rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll leave it alone.”
The next hour was filled by catching up with Hen, and when Buck said goodbye Hen pulled him close in another hug.
“Don’t be a stranger,” she said.
He left with a smile on his face, a renewed hope that maybe losing his job didn’t mean losing most of his family, and a document filled with Karen’s knowledge as well as several names and email addresses of people that could help him answer questions she couldn’t.
Back home, Buck went back to the draft of his story. He had a good starting scene. Everything after that was very bare-bones, mostly events lined out in quick, short paragraphs that read more like summaries than a good story because he’d figured out he needed more details than he had. Which had led to a research binge and a facts file that was about fifty pages. But now, after talking through some things with Karen, the story was flowing again.
Over the next three weeks, he brought Sean, a pre-teen with CP who was the son of a single father who worked for the Space Rescue Force, SRF for short, to life with his writing. The boy and his father lived in a Mars colony, in one of the five huge domed cities on the surface of the red planet. A female, pansexual governor ruled the colony. A little café on the main street was the favorite spot of Sean and his father for a lazy breakfast or an indulgent lunch when his dad was free. It had a boisterous, gentle-hearted proprietor who flirted shamelessly with Sean’s dad but became flustered when the man flirted back. He had a best friend in Belina, a young, female Zerovonian, which was a reptilian species, because if Buck was going to set a story in space, there was going to be different species. Together, Sean and Belina were on a mission to convince Sean’s dad to get a dog, which suddenly became much more urgent when they found a stray puppy hiding in one of the cargo bays. The stakes were upped when the puppy turned out to be a Samoyed, a nearly extinct and expensive breed of dog, which had escaped from animal smugglers that had docked their spaceship for repairs. When the smugglers caught up with the puppy – named Ace by Sean and Belina – they unfortunately also caught up with Sean and Belina. They took the children, afraid of leaving witnesses but not wanting to kill them, as well as the puppy. It ended with the children managing to send a message to Sean’s dad, and the SRF – a combination between police, EMS and firefighters, but in space – came out in force to rescue the kids. And of course, Sean got the keep the puppy in the end.
After he’d finished the story, Buck felt empty, like he’d poured his all in the story and now there was nothing left. He was pretty sure he was supposed to feel proud, but he was just too wrung out for that.
Buck ended up on Eddie’s couch. Christopher had long since gone to bed by the time he arrived, so it was just the two of them.
“I haven’t seen you around much, lately,” Eddie said.
“What do you mean? I was here three days ago for pizza and a movie.”
“Yeah, you’re there when it’s Christopher asking you to come over. But this, just the two of us, that’s been a while.”
Buck grimaced because now that he thought about it, Eddie was right. “Sorry, I’ve been working on a project for Christopher’s birthday.”
“That’s still six weeks from now,” Eddie said with a snort. Then, after a pause, he groaned. “Please promise me you’re not going to give him some insanely expensive gift, please?”
“I promise, Eddie. I’d never go above the budget you set for his birthday presents without discussing it with you. It didn’t cost much at all, except for some time putting it together.”
“Now you’ve got me curious.”
Buck just grinned and took another sip of his coffee. Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Fine, be mysterious. I’ll find out eventually.”
“Yup, just after Christopher unpacks his present.”
*****
Buck had arrived early to help Eddie set up the party for Christopher, and had brought the story he’d written – printed by the local copy shop on nice paper and bound with a harder cover that had the title, a copyright-free picture of Mars and his name as the author on it. Editing the story had taken more time than Buck had expected, and doing any kind of self-published book would have taken too long. So simple it was. Buck wasn’t worried about that, as it was the story itself that was the gift. That didn’t mean he didn’t have a nice Lego set in his car as a backup gift if Christopher ended up hating it.
“Hey, do you mind if I give Christopher his gift before everyone gets here?” Buck asked Eddie.
“You can,” Eddie said, “if you’re that impatient to give it.”
Buck scrunched his nose. “More like worried that he won’t like it.”
“Whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll love it because it’s from you.”
Buck hoped so. Either way, Eddie didn’t give him time to second guess himself more, as he called out to Christopher to join them in the living room.
Once the boy had made himself comfortable on the couch between Buck and Eddie, Buck gave him the wrapped package. With an approving nod from Eddie, Christopher started tearing the paper off. Eddie leaned in as well, clearly curious.
“The Puppy Mission, a Sean’s Space Adventure novel, by Evan Buckley,” Christopher read from the cover page, awe in his voice. “You wrote me a book?”
“Yes, I did. Remember that you were looking for a book that had someone with CP as the main character, but with a story that wasn’t about the CP? When we couldn’t find one, I decided to write one for you.”
With an excited gasp, Christopher opened up the book and started reading the first page.
“Look, Dad, Sean’s got something to help him walk, just like me. But he doesn’t have crutches, but robotic braces on his legs. And he lives on Mars! This is so cool.”
Suddenly, Buck was squeezed in a tight hug by Christopher. Over Christopher’s head, Buck could see Eddie stroking his fingers over the page with a reverence usually only reserved for things Christopher had made him.
“Can you read to me?” Christopher asked as he pulled back slightly from the hug.
“Only until the first guest arrives,” Buck said, glad Christopher seemed to like it.
“And after they leave, right?”
“I’m sure I can manage to read to you a bit before bedtime,” Buck said.
Christopher cheered and pressed the book in Buck’s hands.
By the time Hen and Karen arrived with Denny, Christopher wasn’t the only one hooked on the story, but so was Eddie.
“Damn, Buck, you wrote an amazing story,” Eddie said, once the party was well underway. “I can’t believe you put so much work into this for Christopher.”
Just as he had when everyone else had found out and exclaimed about the story, Buck blushed.
“It was a good distraction,” Buck said. “Starting at the call center was a good move for me, taking 9-1-1 calls still allows me to help people, but you know it’s not exactly been an easy transition for me. It’s not exactly my dream job like firefighting was and learning how to work with Maddie without letting our relationship as siblings interfere was also a challenge. This story, though, was both an escape and something I enjoyed doing a lot.”
“You know Christopher is probably going to be through this book before the week is out, right? And then go straight into asking for a new story about Sean.”
“Yeah, I might have created a bit of a monster with this,” Buck said with a grin. “Good thing I’ve got a couple more ideas then.”
Eddie raised one brow. “You started another story already, didn’t you?”
Buck could feel his cheeks heat with another blush. “Guilty as charged. Sean and Belina’s quest for a secret clubhouse gets them on the trail of election sabotage. I’m struggling a little bit, though, because I want the adventure to feel authentic for a pair of ten-year-olds, without making the adults utterly incompetent or worse.”
“You thought about getting the book published?” Eddie asked.
“Nah, it’s not that good.”
“Buck, what you’ve read to Christopher so far has been amazing. It is that good. Besides, Christopher can’t be the only kid out there that wants a story like this, where he can see himself in the main character and still have a good story with adventure.”
“You actually think I could get it published?” Buck asked.
“Can’t hurt to try, right? Worst they can do is say no.”
“I guess.”
A war cry from Harry had both Eddie and Buck, and every other parent in the yard, turn towards where the kids were playing. Both men relaxed when it became clear it was just a war reenactment with toy soldiers and not an actual fight. Still, Eddie made his way over to the boys to temper their excitement a bit.
The conversation was pushed to the back of Buck’s mind until a week later. Christopher had finished the book and written a string of lengthy text to Buck on his father’s phone. There were many exclamation marks in it, underscoring how awesome he thought it was. What hit Buck the most was the last text, in which Christopher said he wished other kids with CP had their own Buck to write such stories for them. Later that evening, Buck sent the book to an agent.
*****
“Can you believe Christopher is turning eleven already in a week? Ugh, where did the time go?”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Eddie said. “The other day, he decided to read to me at bedtime, instead of the other way around.”
Buck laughed. “Oh, please tell me it was one of my books.”
“Of course it was,” Eddie said. “He’s restarted the series again, in anticipation of your latest release.”
Buck still felt the flush of pride, even after almost two and a half years since officially publishing his first book. Melinda, the agent he’d sent his first Sean’s Space Adventure book to had loved it. Their working relationship was still going strong, with four books in the series published now and a fifth one in the final editing stages.
“He’ll probably read any book you publish, even when he’s a teenager and beyond.”
“Or, you know, he could read a young adult book. Like, a book about the deaf daughter of a Space Rescue Force member and her friends, who all happen to have parents in the SRF.”
It took a moment for the quarter to drop, but then Eddie gasped. “You’re writing a non-Sean book?”
Buck nodded. “I wanted to branch out into the young adult genre. Kids at that age need some more diverse reading than there usually is too. It’s going to be set in a different Mars city than the one Sean lives in. I wanted to set it in the same universe because I’ve developed it so much, but the themes I’m going to be exploring will be a bit more mature, and therefore slightly darker. I just…couldn’t bear to think about them touching Sean or the place he lives in. So, a different city it was.”
“Did you already discuss it with Melinda?”
“Yeah, I pitched the idea before starting to write it, and she was all for it. Though she did warn me she was far too busy to be answering author questions about her experiences as a deaf person. I promised her I’m not going to bug her about that, Alissa already promised to help.”
Buck had moved apartments over two years ago, to somewhere without stairs. His neighbor, Alissa, was twenty years older and deaf, but an amazing baker and an absolute hoot to talk to. They’d become fast friends and she’d been very enthusiastic about answering all the questions Buck had had so far.
“Where are you going to get the time to write it? Are you going to stop writing new Sean books?”
“No, I’ve already talked to Sue. I’m going to be cutting back my working hours from four days to two days a week at the call center. I don’t want to quit entirely, because I do like helping people, but writing is where my passion lies.”
“Is that going to be financially doable?” Eddie asked. “I mean, I know your books sell well, but authors usually don’t make big money. Are they doing that well?”
“Ah, well, you can’t tell Christopher, or anyone else for that matter. It would ruin his birthday surprise,” Buck said, leaning closer to Eddie. He waited until Eddie had promised, then, after a final check Christopher hadn’t somehow woken up and walked into the living room, he whispered, “A big movie studio just got the green light to make a Sean’s Space Adventure movie from my first book. They bought the option earlier this year, but I didn’t want to jinx anything. That money, plus the royalties from my books, could tidy me over without the need for a job at all.”
“That’s amazing,” Eddie breathed, excitement in his voice.
“Yeah, it is,” Buck said, matching his grin to the big one on Eddie’s face. His life had taken an interesting, and at times difficult, turn. He’d never thought he’d find anything he’d love as much as firefighting, and that being content with his life was the highest thing he could achieve after losing it. But writing easily matched his love for firefighting these days, he still had his friends from the 118 in his life, and he was happy. Life truly was amazing.
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